(Photo by Bill Baptist/NBAE via Getty Images)

As a nice little dovetail to the Celtics thing I did yesterday, I ended up joining John Karalis (who you know from this Logo Project post and The 8th Seed NBA Podcast) and That Sports Babe (who you should follow @ThatSportsBabe) on their aptly titled radio show Boston & That Sports Babe.

Here’s last night’s episode.

I come in around the 15 minute mark if you want to just jump ahead to the good stuff.

We talked about the Celtics being “bored” with the regular season, chatted with a caller about Rondo perhaps deserving some of the blame for this Boston mess (something I disagree with wholeheartedly) and John called me Chewbacca at one point. I’ll admit that the beard could probably use a trim, but c’mon.

You can catch future episodes of Boston & That Sports Babe most every Tuesday at 9:00 pm Northeast Elitist Standard Time.

Baron Davis once again makes Great Moments history by offering to sell you the beard that’s gonna change your pathetic beardless lives. And it could be all yours for for the recession special price of $29.99.

But wait … there’s more.

Get this — the beard comes along with a free Deron Williams Texturizer Kit. Shop now or forever look like a lady. (via Ball Don’t Lie)

“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless — boys and women — and I am neither one.” – traditional Greek saying

As we found out finally and officially on Sunday, the Celtics are not that good. They’re old, injured and can’t play at a high level for 48 minutes. I know that sounds cliché and, as a graduate of the Kelly Dwyer School of “God I Hate It When Lazy Clichés Come True,” it pains me to even term it that way.

Anyway, I found a bunch of parallels between the Celtics and the Cleveland Indians from the movie Major League. The one similarity that will not come true is the Celtics actually overcoming anything to win in the end … but a lot of other things are uncanny.

Here’s a taste:

The Cleveland Indians team in Major League was a ragtag bunch put together for one sole purpose: losing. And losing bad enough so that their owner could break her lease with the city and move the team to sunny Florida. It was only once the players learned of her sinister plot that they were able to put it all together and start winning.

They needed an external wake-up call to motivate them to win.

Now, I personally don’t have much faith in this Celtics team. But if ever there was a wake-up call in this year’s NBA, it’s losing to the Nets. At home. Convincingly.

Will that be enough to help Boston hold off Father Time and magically rebuild the ligaments in KG’s knee? Probably not. I think the Celtics are a clear step behind the three legitimate contenders in the East (Cleveland, Atlanta and Orlando).

But this Celtics team, which I think at least within our little NBA internet world is now being counted out as a title contender, does bare a striking resemblance to my favorite fake baseball team.

Head over to Hardwood Paroxysm to check out the rest.

Most of you Both Teamsters should probably know Zach Harper from, among many other things, his contributions to The NBA Logo Ranking Project and our on-going Talking Hoops with Talk Hoops series. (That reminds me, I actually owe him an email right now as a matter of fact … stay tuned).

Well, he and some other NBA scholars have a podcast that I rather enjoy called The Weekly Fix, and they just dropped the 81st episode today, which I will presume is the Terrell Owens edition. That’s quite a few, so kudos on that, Mssrs. Harper, Gallawa and Eisner.

I haven’t listened to it yet, so I’m not really here to endorse this particular episode. I just needed to point out how great the photo is that they included in the post.

It’s the top one of Manu, Peja and some other dudes.

I have included two other photos that it reminded me of.

We should probably start calling Eddy Curry by the name “Gas Giant.” You in?

I mean, LeBron’s other-worldly court vision, impossible cross-court passing, insane play-making and Halley’s Comet athleticism on drives to the hoop are the real reasons every Cavs game is much-see television.

But stuff like this is easier to sell you on. And he’s 25 now so we only have another few years of “NO WAY he just did that?” physical feats on the reg.

Don’t check out on the regular season is all I’m saying. Stuff like this is happening — even during terrible Knicks games. (via Hooped Up)

(Photo by Joe Murphy/NBAE via Getty Images)

Most people have no idea what Jay-Z is saying in his near-ubiquitous song “Empire State of Mind” when he name-drops LeBron and Dwyane Wade. The exact line is:

“If Jeezy’s paying LeBron, I’m paying Dwyane Wade”

Understandably, the presumption by most is that Jay, who has a small ownership stake in the New Jersey Nets, is essentially saying that “If I can’t sign LeBron as a free agent this summer, I’ll just sign Dwyane Wade — the next best thing.”

But that’s not correct.

The chart below basically tells you what’s going on, but this guy at The Awl breaks it down for you in full, which will help ensure you aren’t like one of those people walking around singing “excuse me, while I kiss this guy” or “the girl with colitis goes by.”

The lyric in question is usually misconstrued in one of two ways. Either:

1) It’s misheard as: “If Jesus paying LeBron, I’m paying Dwyane Wade.”

Or:

2) It’s heard correctly, but taken literally, as: “If Jeezy’s paying LeBron, I’m paying Dwyane Wade.”

Here’s how the different scenarios break down:

1) “If Jesus is paying LeBron, I’m paying Dwyane Wade.” A lot of people assume that this means that there’s someone named Jesus who owns a large equity stake in an NBA franchise who is vying for LeBron James (one of the best NBA players of all time, and close friend of Jay-Z) when James hits the market as a free agent in 2010. Well, you know what they say about happens when you assume, and that’s just what you’ve done. No one named Jesus, pronounced like the son of God and not in the more commonly used Hispanic way, owns any part of any NBA team. Sorry.

2) “If Jeezy’s paying LeBron, I’m paying Dwyane Wade.” So now you might think, okay, maybe the popular rapper Young Jeezy owns a bit of an NBA team, just like Jay-Z does, and he’s saying that if Jeezy signs LeBron, Jay-Z will then settle for Dwyane Wade. Again, you could not be anymore incorrect, I’m sorry. Young Jeezy also does not have any points in an NBA franchise. It seems weird that you even thought that.

So what they hell is Jay talking about then?

Well, it actually has nothing to do with the NBA. He’s just bragging about how cheaply he can purchase cocaine, which since he doesn’t actually sell drugs anymore is just really him saying he’s kind of a big deal.

See, Jeezy made a song called “24 23 (Kobe LeBron)” in which he repeatedly said that while other drug dealers had to pay “Kobe” (meaning Bryant’s  jersey number of 24 aka $24,000 per kilo) for their wholesale coke purchases, he had now climbed the blow-slinging kingpin ladder to such a degree that he now only had to pay “LeBron” (aka $23,000 per kilo). And Jay is countering that he only pays “Dwyane Wade,” which at $3,000 a kilo means that would pretty much have to be Pablo Escobar’s son. He may as well be saying he picks up his drugs along with Tyrone Biggums at the Five O’clock Free Crack Giveaway.

ANYWAY…

The only real point here is that I just came across the chart below at Doomztastic. Which pretty much says all this same stuff a lot quicker and includes a joke or two that will likely only be funny to people who already knew all this stuff to begin with. (via I Love Charts)

And what does THAT mean?

That I just wasted a bunch of my time typing all this out. What else is new?

Yesterday, Jason Richardson, one of the greatest dunkers I’ve ever seen, missed a wide-open, breakaway dunk with less than a minute to go in a game that the Suns would end up losing to the Spurs. Those two points would have tied the game. (video via Basketbawful)

In other words, ouch.

I wrote more on the topic over at Hardwood Paroxysm today. Read that.

Also, yesterday, I wrote some stuff about Tyler Hansbrough’s vertigo-like affliction, which has become “officially troubling” in my eyes and will likely shut him down for the rest of his wasted rookie season in the eyes of his coach.

Yup, jolly good times in Pacerland — as always.